Losing Self Control
by hopelina
Summary: Yuuri is finding Wolfram more and more irresistible, each day... There's a rated M sequel to this called "Gekko to Hoshi Akari" I hope you check that out, too!
1. I Want You

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Kyo Kara Maoh, trust me, it would be full of HARD yaoi :D**

**Yuuri's POV**

The beautiful, wavy, blonde locks cascading down to shoulder blades... The gorgeous emerald irises which compare to a labrinth- one gets easilly lost in them with no chance of escape... The soft, rose petal pink lips excruciatingly difficult to resist... The pale, silky smooth skin you never want to stop _touching_...

These irresistable characteristics of my accidental fiance are driving me **_insane_**.

I've been having a lot of fantasies, lately... Both in my dreams, at night, and my day dreams, I fail to stop fantasizing about having my brilliant way with the blond. They taunt me to the point where I fear I cannot even look Wolfram in the eyes without losing every ounce of self-control in me...

_Wolfram_...

One random summer day, the multiple shades of purples, oranges, reds, yellows, blues... just about every colour paints the sky beautifully. However, what I find even more breathtaking is the one training his soldiers, dodging their every blow.

I admire the young man, observing his appearance thoroughly. What's left of the sun shines on the bishonnen, causing his emerald eyes to sparkle brilliantly. Though he has been training roughly, the majority of the day, he still manages to maintain perfect stance, barely breaking a sweat.

His dry lips part slightly, his tongue running over the tempatations of mine to wet them; the sun shimmers on the newly damped lips...

Those lips are _so taunting_...

I cross my legs in attempting to both hide my downward problem. I also try to pull my stare from the stunning blond, failling miserably... It's inconcievable rip my gaze from such luxury...

The dazzling green eyes turn to me as the bearer of them dismisses the soldiers' seeming eternal training session. I almost expect myself to jump in surprise at the suddenly eye contact, but I stay in my dazed state, still examining the beautiful boy.

Our eyes remain locked while he paces towards me. It takes an incredible effort to resist sprinting up to him and jumping him...

I keep my eyes fixed on the electric green ones as they finally approach within a yard of me. As he draws closer to me, I step backwards- my self control lacks my trust.

"Hey, wimp-" my desiteratum begins, the breeze flowing gracfully through his already elegant blond hair.

His voice... I want to make it _scream_ my name in _pleasure_...

I inhale deeply, aiming to calm my fluttering heart and raging hormones. Gathering up just about every ounce of courage in my body, I try prevent the tragedy of me making a complete and utter mess of him without his consent by intrupting my beloved's intoxication voice, "Wolfram..."

The bishonen freezes, surprised. He's so adorable when he's confused...

I continue despite my minor self doubts, "Meet me, later this evening, at the garden by the shed. _No_ _exeptions_."

I smirk, strolling away almost confidentally to leave him in his state of shock.

Here I stand, leaning against the wall of a rather diminutive shed, gazing up at the cresent moon in the clear, starry night sky. A Beautiful Wolfram is clasped between my fingers in the tight grip of my right hand, turning in time with my nervouse fiddling of my thumb. He's still not here...

** Reviews are highly encouraged!**

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	2. Can I really Do This?

**I AM SOO HAPPY AND SSOOOOOOOOO SORRY! **

** I've gotten like 10 reviews! That's the most I have ever gotten on one chapter, so THANK YOU, REVIEWERS! And I'm sorry for the seeming eternal wait for this chapter :/ I, for some reason, HATE writing after or before school... And then, last weekend, I had a friend sleep over for my birthday party and she was there ALL weekend... Again, I apologize but this story won't be ended by this chapter, I'll try not to take so long to update, again, though...**

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** ENJOY!**

**Yuuri's POV**

How did this longing start?

After venturing through my mind so intensely that my cranium aches more than ever, I finally come to a conclusion:

This infatuation most likely began soon after I accidentally proposed to him. I remember yearning to progress our relationship, but I lacked the backbone for it.

So, I simply denied my feelings to such an extent, I had nearly forgotten about them... All this time, though, when I have been hiding my incredible emotions for blond, I simply stored them in some imaginary bottle. But, rather recently, that bottle overflowed, and just up and exploded. Now, all my feelings are ambushing me at all at once... I can barely stand it.

Later on, this strange infatuation expanded to a _strong obsession_, a _brutal craving_... There I was, wanting him more and more as days passed and, now, I have somehow mustered up enough courage to ask him here...

Here I stand, leaning against the wall of a rather small shed, gazing up at the crescent moon in the clear, starry night sky. A Beautiful Wolfram is clasped between my fingers in the tight grip of my right hand, turning in time with my nervous fiddling of my thumb. He is still not here...

I start to lose confidence when I hear the clock strike 10 o'clock. I didn't tell him a specific time, but that doesn't mean he has to wait until the last hours of the evening.

It's not like I even planned this out well enough- I can't just randomly confess- but... I just hoped it would work... I don't even know his feelings for me! Who am I kidding, he thinks of me no more than a friend... If it was otherwise, he would be here, by now.

As if on cue, the light sound of footsteps progress nearer and nearer. Soon, the source of the sound comes to view, the green orbs on the figure's face shimmering in the rather dim moonlight.

Wolfram...

He has finally arrived... But, my throat clogs up so dramatically that I cannot even breathe right.

I simply stare at him, self doubt overwhelming the only part of my mind which isn't unbearably teased by the bishonen's intoxicating presence. My heart thumps so forcefully at my ribcage, I can even feel my whole body throbbing- from head to toe.

My skull is extremely sore, due to the many words scrambling through my mind as I sink even deeper into it, still managing to stare into the circular labyrinths of evergreen wonder.

Wolfram often speaks of his "love not being that halfhearted" or the fact that I'm his fiance. Plus, he turns green with envy whenever I even speak to someone kindly. Even though all of those things are true, does he feel about me anything near to what I feel about him?

'How do you feel about me?'

'Have you ever dreamed about me?'

'Do you even find me attractive?'

There are so many possible things to ask him, but my throat is dryer than the Sahara dessert...

I inhale deeply, exhaling the same way; my eyes also closed. These actions are desperate attempts to calm myself down, at least enough to locate my voice. I can't know unless I ask him, so...

I have to do this.

** I know this is short and has no action, I'm sorry :( But, I'm going to try to post the next the chapter, tomorrow. If not then, I promise I'll have it the day after unless something comes up. I would have attached the other part to this, but I didn't want to keep you people waiting. Plus, now I can have more opinions on each section of this story :D Seriously, I'll have the next chapter as soon as I can. I'm really tired right now, so I'm watching me some Junjou Romantica :3 R&R!**

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	3. Impossible

**Next Chapter, as promised! :D**

**Wolfram's POV**

There isn't a word spoken for what seems like literally forever. What did he call me here for, anyway? And why is he staring at me? Can it be...

I shake of the thought. I really shouldn't get my hopes up...

But, those midnight black eyes... I feel like I'm melting under all the pressure. This questionable silence is just to much- my heart hammers at my chest so hard it almost hurts...

This is not like me... or him... What's happening?

Unable to take the awkward silence, I refuse to let it creep around for any longer. I walk up to the teenager, placing my hand on his left shoulder, and mumble his name, not sure what else I can say.

His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, enlarging to the size of saucers, when I startle him with the effortless movement.

Neither of us move an inch until it's his turn to break a silence, "Uh... Y-you can go, I... changed my mind..." The young king shrugged off my hand, shooing it away with his right hand and making his leave.

He's leaving? Just like that?

"What the hell!" I suddenly blurt out. "Calling me here and not even telling me why..."

_ Can it really be that he... Stop, Wolfram! You know he doesn't like you in that way..._ I mentally scold myself.

Yuuri doesn't even look back, his just quickens his pace.

My fists clench and my feet seem to move on their own. "Wait, you wimp!" I practically throw myself towards him to reach the sleeve of his shirt. "I want an explan-"

Just as I'm in the middle of the word "explanation," I find myself in the most unexpected and shocking situation...

Oh. My. God. Can this be possible?

I discover something occurring which I have only dreamed would ever happen. Instantaneously, I have somehow ended up with my fingers intertwined with his with my hands pinned, above my head, to the shed with was at least three feet away from where I was only a short while ago. That, however, fails to surprise me more than my another finding...

A delightful, naturally talented mouth teases my own by nibbling it, licking it, kissing it, sucking it... just toying with it in every way possible.

The warmth of Yuuri's back heat still lingers on the wooden wall which I am presently shoved up against. My eyes squeeze tightly together, my heart slams like a jackhammer at my suddenly sensitive ribs, and my tongue presses to the roof of my mouth by the other male's one which now explores my mouth...

This situation is seriously impossible...

The wielder of pitch black eyes shamelessly presses his body flush against my own, practically melting into me. My eyes collide with even more force when my pelvic area gets ground against by his. I groan rather loudly into the deep, passionate kiss and my heart is about ready to explode.

This is _beyond_ _impossible_...

I find myself practically drowning in pleasure as friction rises, victim to the Maoh's inexperienced, yet magnificent ministrations.

My beloved somehow realizes my unintentional, desperate and silent pleads for more, obeying them by increasing the speed and force of his amazing gyrations. Then, he separates our lips...

I whine at the lack of attention to my mouth before pursuing to suppress the immense urge to cry out in pleasure-though not completely succeeding- due to the knowledge that my embarrassing mewls are no longer being muffled.

Yuuri's teeth nearly pierce the skin of the oh-so-tender section between my neck and shoulder blade, simultaneously sucking at it and twirling his tongue in a circular motion on that very spot. How does he do all that while still keeping the brilliant, rhythmic ministrations, downward?

It feels so real, so amazing! However, I really must be dreaming... This bends all possible reality!

I arch into my desideratum's every action, releasing airy moans, sighs and gasps. Somehow, I manage to flutter my eyes open to reveal already dark eyes so darkened with lust, it would be impossible to see his pupils even in broad daylight.

His face contorts in extreme pleasure, the sight causing my cheeks to heat even more. Our eyes fix into an unfathomable contemplation.

Abruptly smirking, Yuuri halts the grinding when I release, the sticky liquid soaking both of our trousers.

My heart is just about to demolish my whole body in an immediate and fatal explosion, I swear to death! I can hardly supply my lungs with oxygen and my face is going to ignite into burning flames.

I. Just. Came.

And so soon, too! I mean we've only been doing this for... I honestly have no idea, but it feels like no time at all!

I dwell on my deep thoughts for a moment before I realize something I feel so stupid for not noticing until now. _Wait a second..._

The male slides his hands up my shirt, sending shivers down my spine; he teases my nipples roughly.

Now, I remember how this random arousal began. Does he even care about me? Maybe he's just desperate... Maybe the reason he debated whether to do whatever he planned or not is because he would feel guilty for taking advantage of me... I have no proof that he could or couldn't care less about me as who I am- not just my body...

A dagger plunges into my heart at the mere possibility of this meaning nothing to him, tears threatening my eyes.

I grip onto the black haired male's wrists, yanking them away from my chest and, in one fluid motion, switching our positions.

"Yuuri," my voice is so serious, I'm even scaring myself. My eyes narrow as I continue, "why are you doing this? Do-" I pause hastily, swallowing to dampen my overly dry throat. "-you love me?"

** * GASP * It's finally- * GASP * - DONE! * collapses into chair, looking about ready to pass out...**

** Okay, not really, I'm just being overly dramatic. But, honestly, I'm extremely lazy and tired. So, actually trying to do something good in a short amount of time, for me, is exhausting... And then I look up at how pathetically short it is and admit defeat to the fact that I suck hardcore (not in the good way ;P) at so much... At least I've kept my promise XD **

** READ AND REVIEW, PLEASE!**

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	4. Pure Bliss, Pure Love

**Did you enjoy the eternal wait of DOOM? If not, hopefully it's worth it. WARNING: There is a lime in this chapter, so watch out for that. Enjoy!**

**Yuuri's POV**

"Do... you love me?"

Those four simple words ring through my head repeatedly. I know the answer- of course I do, with all my heart! But...

Shock and nervousness petrify me to the bone, swelling up my throat. Why can't I reply? I mean, wouldn't a simply 'yes' do?

Serious eyes with vaguely hidden hope stare right into my soul, warming my heart -yet somehow impairing it- gradually with each moment's passing. Yet, all I can do is stare right back at them, straining the elder's patience.

I _need_ to confess to him, he _needs_ to know! Even if he's just asking because he's curious or something... Then again, he released so easily- the wonderful, unforgettable expression of ecstasy, on his face, as he ejaculated pops into my head. I shake it off. Plus, he seems way to serious to just be curious... Does he feel the same way I do?

Looking at that angelic face, it takes immense self-control and common sense to refrain from attacking his intoxicating lips and neck, yet again. However, Wolfram is more serious than I've ever seen him before...

Taking in a sharp breath, I begin, "I-" before cutting myself off. I jolt my head backwards to unintentionally slam my head into the wood behind me, surprised by my unexpected ability to compose single coherent word. I rub my now aching cranium, absentmindedly.

_Continue,_ I command myself sternly, but to no avail.

While minutes pass like hours, silence consumes all but the sharp tone of many globules of liquid precipitation pattering sharply on the ground around us.

Shaking appendages lighten their strict grip on my wrists, their proprietor's gaze dropping to the ground. Releasing my arms altogether, my beloved allows his own arms to dangle by his sides, and he remains utterly frozen.

Even when the one I love most in all existence stands before me, his head bowed, increasingly soaking due to the rainfall, and looking as gloomy as ever, I fail to even form another word.

I'm so sorry... Wolfram... I have somehow lost my voice in the abyss of nothingness, and I wield no knowledge on where it may possibly abide...

**Wolfram's POV**

Letting go of my long admired infatuation, my stare directs down to the stone path beneath us. Allowing the numerous beads of water to trickle down my dampening body, I dispense a similar liquid from my tear ducts.

I feel pathetic, crying in front of the one I love; but the flowing of tears, at this point, is utterly inevitable. I should have listened to my conscience's instructions not to get my hopes up...

The temptation of running away fails to overcome my fixed state, so all I can do is stand here, silently crying...

"I do."

Startled by the sudden words, I quickly cast my gaze upwards. Vaguely noting how enticing the figure before me looks, contrasting beautifully with the rays of moonlight shining mostly on his right side, I part my lips slightly to ask what he says that he does. Then, the explanation strikes me across the face.

_He..._

Cupping my cheek with his right hand, and peering right into my soul with those amazing black eyes of his, Yuuri states something which obviously confirms my estimate, "I love you... Wolfram... so much... I..."

Those words, to me, wield such honesty, so much emotion... Along with the dim pain from my heart slamming maniacally at my chest lays a deep, newly found emotion. What word can possibly describe this feeling? This pure bliss, pure... love... I realize, now, my true feelings for this wimpy, thick headed, gorgeous king before me. This isn't just love you can give to most of any person you get close to, it's as if these feelings could never even think of lying in the hands of anybody else, that they were purposely set aside only for him during all my 84 years... I don't just love Yuuri, I'm _in_ love with him. It's as if he's my other half, the only one who can possibly complete me...

I've discovered a love so powerful, risking one's own life to save the other seems like nothing. This is a love so indestructible, nothing that has or shall ever exist can ever destroy it. Abiding within me is a love so limitless, it almost seems like it doubles in mass and strength, with each passing minute. The deep love inside of me wields no boundaries; I shall love this breathtaking teen before me forever, even if he completely changes over the years and even comes to despise me.

Most surprisingly, this vast love of mine... is requited... A monstrous weight lifts from my now vigorously pulsing heart. "Yuuri," I breathe, still taking in all of my desideratum's confession.

Pulling my face close to his, the dark haired 18 year-old presses his lips delicately against each of my two tear-stained cheeks. After that, _my_ Yuuri took my face in his hands, closing the space between us.

I sigh, contently, into the kiss until we suddenly separate. I almost whine, but then my eyes meet his...

The young Maoh hesitantly inquires, breathing heavily, "And... you? How do you feel... about... me?"

I feel like I'm melting under that intense gaze of his...

"I-" I begin before swallowing, "- love you, too," I assure, heat rising in my face.

**Okay, I'm in the middle (actually towards the beginning * laughs sheepishly *) of the smex, so I'll post that eventually, but I didn't want to keep you guys on the cliff hanger at the end of the last chapter, so here's a chapter of pure fluff... Sorry :/ but at least you can just skip straight to the smex, once I post it :D **

**Reviews=LOVE! And encourage me to write more ;)**

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	5. Author's Note

** Sorry for keeping on switching things around, but I swear this is the last time! I'm just going to put what was the fifth chapter as a new story. It's called "****月光と星明かり ****Gekkō to Hoshi Akari.****" ****That way, I can make this story T, so more people can read it. I'm sorry for the confusion! So, for the smex, just go to that story! **


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